Humor-loving Hound Hero Gifts

'I'll be your best friend, but nothing kinky.'

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

'Are we nearly there yet?'

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

No Soliciting

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

'Why is it he never understands sit , stay or down, but understands spayed and neutered?'

Bingo! Credit card number!! The real reason raccoons like garbage.

"No Joke! I taught my dog to fetch coffee."

News and Magazines. Tax Bill Debate. The trickle-down can never compete with siphon-up.

'Trains traditionally run late, it rains on bank holidays and Yorkshire pudding is a main course.'

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

Woman is shocked at seeing her weight, she doesn't realise that her dog is also on the scales.

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

"Consider yourself chased."

'Bob likes to express himself through his art!'

'No need to shout.'

'Doctor, did you say 5 minutes of traction, or 5 hours?'

'Good dog!'

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

"Bad Dog!!! You can't trust those chocolate labs."

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

Dog to dog: 'I hate the way pointers are always blaming somebody else.'

'No! That's not a wall safe, it's a porthole!'

"Not sure if I'm hungry or bored."

"Is that one of those brandy dogs?"

The Poodle and The Twooudle.

A sausage dog shrinking after toileting

Beware of dog...poop.

Labradoodle/Labradon't-le

"I think that I shall never see a tree on which I wouldn't pee."

Canine Scent-ipede

"And yet, I too am a still life."

'Eject! Eject, eject eject!! Aw crimony. I've hit the button 6 or 7 times, Cap'n. And the darned CD still won't come out.'