Pet Pal With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

'Need money, don't make me beg!'

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Dog Dressed to Eat

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"I'm thinking sixty nine."

The Karate Kitten.

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

"He ran out of pee."

"Teach me not to care."

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

"I'll have the 'All you can eat from the menu, the kitchen, and the dumpster' special."

"You stop it, now!"

"Did you know that cats aren't mentioned anywhere in the Bible?"

"FYI – your camel hair blazer started it."

"Bad Dog!!! You can't trust those chocolate labs."

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

'I do some light mousework for them in return for room and board.'

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

When Pugs dream.

"Here he comes! Don't move."

Stand-up comedy while you're away at work. 'What's the deal with fetching? ...And they expect you to run and go get it, so why did they throw it in the first place?' 'Ha! Ha! It's funny because it's true!'

"Looks like we'll be eating leftovers for a month!"

'I want a straightforward answer: Did you or did you not willfully claw a flea to death on your left ear?'

'Better get used to it. I was just appointed to nine life terms to the bench.'

Bad Dog

Tony's dog always brought him to his slippers.

"Tonight I'm going to bury this sucker so far underground he'll never find it."

Cat Show - Sheds Most

"As I near my 9th life, I feel I’m entering a post-curious, pre-fatalist phase of existence."

'Ma'am, I think I already see the problem with your cuckoo clock.'

'I never see the dog complain about my cooking.'

Too late they realized they'd awarded 1st place to a mop.

"Smoking causes cancer in humans. I'm canine."