Humorist With Hounds Gifts

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

"He's no hat and all corgis."

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"I'm working from home today."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

No Soliciting

'I'd like to return this, please.'

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

"Now turn your head and bark."

"Pssst. Fake poop."

"There are those who say I'm a throwback to Monet."

"I did, boss, I swear, I buried him myself."

"Sometimes Bob wags when he's happy—but these days, it usually means he just tooted."

'Doctor, did you say 5 minutes of traction, or 5 hours?'

"Look, Mommy. Puppy already knows a trick! What should we call him?" "How about 'Scooter.'"

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

'Trouble is, he rubbed my nose in it'

'What makes you say I spoil the cat?'

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

The Poodle and The Twooudle.

Woman Walking a Trojan Horse

"Well, if it wasn't you who meowed, and it certainly wasn't me who meowed...then...who...meowed?"

Labradoodle/Labradon't-le

A sausage dog shrinking after toileting

Strikeout Dog

'I'm afraid you're just going to have to accept that dogs just don't like you.'

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

Employees Must Lick Themselves Before Returning to Work.

"He wasn't quite dark enough to name 'midnight' so I named him ten o'clock."

'What did I tell you about feeding your pet beaver table scraps?'

"Gas was passed, you get the blame, that's the system."

'Time out!... Scooper!!'

A sheep shearing herself on stage - A sheep strip show

"Goddam Dogs."

"Guess what I learned in band class today?"