Hairy Hound Humorist Gifts

Moulting Dog

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

'Are we nearly there yet?'

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

No Soliciting

Beware of the Dog Hair.

"Let's try for dignified yet playful, while maintaining the spirit of preservation."

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

Not you. Your hair.

'Why is it he never understands sit , stay or down, but understands spayed and neutered?'

Bingo! Credit card number!! The real reason raccoons like garbage.

Ed's receding hairline!

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

News and Magazines. Tax Bill Debate. The trickle-down can never compete with siphon-up.

"No Joke! I taught my dog to fetch coffee."

Professor of Fuzzy Logic.

'Well, I think it's very creative of the dog to make a wig from his shed hair.'

'Trains traditionally run late, it rains on bank holidays and Yorkshire pudding is a main course.'

'Where's my horse?'

"Consider yourself chased."

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

Woman is shocked at seeing her weight, she doesn't realise that her dog is also on the scales.

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

'He's wearing a toupee.'

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

Bald Man Overcomb

'Bob likes to express himself through his art!'

"We've been victorious in many battles, and yet helmet hair remains our fiercest foe."

'No need to shout.'

'Good dog!'

'Doctor, did you say 5 minutes of traction, or 5 hours?'

'No! That's not a wall safe, it's a porthole!'

'Just a trim for me thanks.'