Humor Sailor Gifts

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"Ticket and passport, please."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

Walking the Plank.

Man painting MOM on boat

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

'I told you we should have unionized.'

"Let’s draw him closer to New Bedford — we’ll get cell service there and Instagram the heck out of this!"

Fisherman selling sardines in oil, haddock in oil, cod in oil etc..

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

'We're drifting apart.'

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

'I think we should wake the Captain!'

Fish near-death experiences.

'That's his new trophy fishwife.'

'I think I caught one of those fish showing on the graph.'

Titanic 2024: "Nope, no icebergs left."

'Because I don't want you to be part of the decision - making process, that's why!'

Contended beaver nurses a full stomach having eaten the captains wooden leg.