Comical Sailor Gifts

"Can I stop bailing now?"

Sea song.

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

Walking the Plank.

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

Man painting MOM on boat

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

'We're drifting apart.'

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

Fish near-death experiences.

"Nope, not a dock! Not a diving board! Guess again!"

'That's his new trophy fishwife.'

'Because I don't want you to be part of the decision - making process, that's why!'

'Aye, but can you guys get 500 channels with those hooks?'

Contended beaver nurses a full stomach having eaten the captains wooden leg.

'Have you ever wondered how deep the ocean would be without sponges?'

"I didn’t need to tie his hands—I just entered it into his GPS. In three feet, the destination is below you."

'I think I caught one of those fish showing on the graph.'

Titanic 2024: "Nope, no icebergs left."

Sinking cruise ship, with band member saved by floating on cello.