Satirical Sailor Gifts

"You may join the crew, Sir, but first you must promise never to write a book about us."

GREENLAND

"I didn’t need to tie his hands—I just entered it into his GPS. In three feet, the destination is below you."

Titanic 2024: "Nope, no icebergs left."

'He's got it made, Derek - I know men who'd pay good money to get trampled on all over like that!'

'I think I caught one of those fish showing on the graph.'

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

'Because I don't want you to be part of the decision - making process, that's why!'

'Of course being on short term contract, I don't enjoy the same benefits as the rest of you.'

Angry pirate looking at angry parrot (wearing diaper) on his shoulder.

"Say, does anyone here know how to tie a sailor's knot?"

"Bloody GPS-plotter is going silly again!"

'This guy is recording our singing, but I can't see us getting royalties any time soon...'

'It's bad news for the cabin boy.'

No Money

'After paying for the boat, it's insurance, the docking and gas, I couldn't afford a trailer.'

"There's nothing wrong with the ship. We just got a better offer."

"I don't think he's wearing that snorkel because he wants to swim with us. Especially, since it's lunch time."

A writer sails on the water chased by editing shears.

Another Disappointment for Captain Ahab

'That's what I call riding the barrel!'

A Jack Tar

Sea song.

'Things have been pretty quiet around here since the capt'n got into online piracy.'

Book Sailing

'Yeah, I guess I have kind of let it go.'

A yacht being followed by sharks.

Franken-Cat

'Hold you horses! I'm just getting to the good part!'

'Ramming speed sailor.'

Surfing the Brown Water.

"Three Morons At Sea."