Comedy Sailor Gifts

"I told you to part your hair in the middle."

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

Walking the Plank.

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

Man painting MOM on boat

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

'We're drifting apart.'

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

Fish near-death experiences.

'That's his new trophy fishwife.'

"Nope, not a dock! Not a diving board! Guess again!"

Titanic 2024: "Nope, no icebergs left."

'Aye, but can you guys get 500 channels with those hooks?'

'Have you ever wondered how deep the ocean would be without sponges?'

'I think I caught one of those fish showing on the graph.'

Contended beaver nurses a full stomach having eaten the captains wooden leg.

'Because I don't want you to be part of the decision - making process, that's why!'

"I didn’t need to tie his hands—I just entered it into his GPS. In three feet, the destination is below you."

Sinking cruise ship, with band member saved by floating on cello.

"You may join the crew, Sir, but first you must promise never to write a book about us."