Comedy Sailor T-Shirts

"I told you to part your hair in the middle."

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Man painting MOM on boat

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

Walking the Plank.

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

'We're drifting apart.'

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

'That's his new trophy fishwife.'

Fish near-death experiences.

'Have you ever wondered how deep the ocean would be without sponges?'

'Because I don't want you to be part of the decision - making process, that's why!'

'I think I caught one of those fish showing on the graph.'

Contended beaver nurses a full stomach having eaten the captains wooden leg.

"I didn’t need to tie his hands—I just entered it into his GPS. In three feet, the destination is below you."

Titanic 2024: "Nope, no icebergs left."

Sinking cruise ship, with band member saved by floating on cello.

The Conveyance of a Corkscrew Hand

"You may join the crew, Sir, but first you must promise never to write a book about us."