Satirical Sailors T-Shirts

Armed punts on the Cam keep North Korea at bay.

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

"And so if the pillage numbers don't improve this quarter, I have just one word for you: waterskis."

Walking the Plank.

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

Man painting MOM on boat

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

'We're drifting apart.'

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

'That's his new trophy fishwife.'

Fish near-death experiences.

"Nope, not a dock! Not a diving board! Guess again!"

"I didn’t need to tie his hands—I just entered it into his GPS. In three feet, the destination is below you."

'I think I caught one of those fish showing on the graph.'

'Because I don't want you to be part of the decision - making process, that's why!'

'Aye, but can you guys get 500 channels with those hooks?'

Contended beaver nurses a full stomach having eaten the captains wooden leg.

Titanic 2024: "Nope, no icebergs left."

Sinking cruise ship, with band member saved by floating on cello.

"You may join the crew, Sir, but first you must promise never to write a book about us."

The Conveyance of a Corkscrew Hand

'Of course being on short term contract, I don't enjoy the same benefits as the rest of you.'