Maritime Satirist T-Shirts

'Ramming speed sailor.'

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

'Stop complaining woman, you wanted a boating holiday!'

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

Chicken soup for the sole.

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

Japanese Whaling

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

Well yes, I am a Blue Whale, but that doesn't mean I'm depressed...

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

Man painting MOM on boat

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

Walking the Plank.

Dead Men Tell No Tales.

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

'We're drifting apart.'

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

'I got one this small.'

'That's his new trophy fishwife.'

Fish near-death experiences.

"Nope, not a dock! Not a diving board! Guess again!"

So, how are you planning on eating that?

Contended beaver nurses a full stomach having eaten the captains wooden leg.