Maritime Satirist T-Shirts

'Ramming speed sailor.'

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

'Stop complaining woman, you wanted a boating holiday!'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

Japanese Whaling

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

Well yes, I am a Blue Whale, but that doesn't mean I'm depressed...

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

Walking the Plank.

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

Man painting MOM on boat

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

Dead Men Tell No Tales.

'We're drifting apart.'

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

Fish near-death experiences.

'That's his new trophy fishwife.'

'I got one this small.'

Fisherman tricks a visitor into thinking a huge buoy is a fishing float for giant fish.

Contended beaver nurses a full stomach having eaten the captains wooden leg.

So, how are you planning on eating that?