Humor Sailor Pillows

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"Ticket and passport, please."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

Late Night with Patrick O'Brian

Man painting MOM on boat

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Walking the Plank.

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

'We're drifting apart.'

Fisherman selling sardines in oil, haddock in oil, cod in oil etc..

'I told you we should have unionized.'

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

"Let’s draw him closer to New Bedford — we’ll get cell service there and Instagram the heck out of this!"

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

'That's his new trophy fishwife.'

Fish near-death experiences.

"Nope, not a dock! Not a diving board! Guess again!"

'I think we should wake the Captain!'

Titanic 2024: "Nope, no icebergs left."

'Aye, but can you guys get 500 channels with those hooks?'

'I think I caught one of those fish showing on the graph.'

"I didn’t need to tie his hands—I just entered it into his GPS. In three feet, the destination is below you."