Humor In Flora Gifts

Rejected State Flowers

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

"Weeds are like kids. They grow up so fast."

Little Farm Shop of Horrors with G.M produce turned into man eating plant

"I'll race you to the top."

Executive grows martinis in his garden.

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.

Plants to Avoid - Creeping Wallenda

"Where are the perineums?" "Aisle 3. Between the vaginas and the rectums."

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

"Psst...The grass is a plant!"

F&E Landscape Architects. Ground cover plants are the Peter Pan of landscape design. The never "grow up"!

"You're welcome. Glad you like them."

Woman Planting Flowers in her Snow Covered Garden.

"You know you've been acting really stuck-up ever. Since you got that stand."

"Don't worry, the pain will stop once everything goes numb."

Venus fly trap.

"You've just raided your last patch!"

Mystery vegetable growing in plot.

Gardener's Calendar: Keep an eye open for pests

"What seems to be the problem?"

'Honey have you seen my Viagra'

"It's a crank call - just heavy transpiration."

I've discovered green fingers are of little help if you've got bad breath.

"Johnson, look at the lilies of the field. They neither spin nor toil. Fire them."

'You haven't been talking to it, you've been nagging it.'

"It seems that a flower is just a weed in drag!"

'The bad news is, it didn't grow hair. The good news is, he's being featured in 'Better Homes and Gardens'.' (Quick Gro tub next to chair.)

"I warned him not to go vegan."

Bro Miliads

"The hair growth formula didn't help Bob...so we're trying it in the garden!"

Belching plant

After you finish picking the poppies for opium, don't forget to save some seeds for my lemon muffins.

"Oh, don't worry. I'm a vegetarian."