Pun-loving Flora Fan Gifts

'Honey have you seen my Viagra'

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

"Did I show you my new climbing hydrangea plants, Mr. Fessler?... Mr. Fessler?"

"Would it kill you to give me a hug?"

The Garden

Hardy Annuals

"I think this is the perfect place to grow a family."

A drooping plant is watered via an IV tube.

Suzies days as a flower girl were numbered.

"You can tell when people don't have pets, because they start to look like their plants."

"I'll race you to the top."

'He may have green fingers, but he's got dirty finger nails!'

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

'You're putting coffee grounds in the plants again, aren't you?'

Why is he always fooling around with plants? He wants to be a robotanist!

"You're not supposed to answer her when she talks to us."

"Aren't those dead flowers fake?"

"You're welcome. Glad you like them."

Woman with flower-style bra getting attacked by bees.

Seed packet reads: EASY GROW JAPANESE KNOTWEED

"I'm looking for an arrangement that says, 'Sorry about the sofa.'"

"The growing season has barely begun, but I've already been getting death threats."

"When did you first realise people were abusing you?"

'I guess you could say the church garden is God's bling.'

"Johnson, look at the lilies of the field. They neither spin nor toil. Fire them."

"You ever wonder why they always draw only one tree?"

"If we make it greener on this side of the river, the wildebeests will cross here..."

The Country Wedding.

Undignified Exits of the Plant World

Summer Blooms in the City

Rejected State Flowers

"I think I'll start with the fly soup."

Cull people who like plastic plants.

The Fireside Jungle: Make sure each plant is suitable for the place where it is kept.