Humor In Culinary Arts Gifts

Cuckoo clock in a kitchen with a cooked bird

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"States of tofu"

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

Soup of the month.

"That's it. We’re toast."

Lesser known greek gods,

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

'The Burrito King.'

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

A Club Sandwitch.

Why did Ernie take that off his wrist and put it here when he had to leave the kitchen? For safety reasons. A watched pot never boils. Ernie says you are what you eat. It's true in his case. Ernie is just like his food. He is sweet, and has some but not too much spice. Plus there's nothing artificial about him. Also like his food, Ernie is an acquired taste. And to me they have both become irresistibly delicious!

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"Charles didn't like tofu."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

Slices of bread rescuing burnt toast.

"What do you suggest...the tuna fish or the peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich?"

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

I don't know what happened to the poor guy, but he's visibly shaken.

"Bottled, tap or toilet water?"

"My guess it's guacamole."

"What happened to the thin crust guy I married?"