Quirky Culinary Humor Gifts

"Yes sir, this is half a steak. The guest who had it yesterday wasn't very hungry."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"States of tofu"

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

"That's it. We’re toast."

Soup of the month.

Wife: 'Ah, honey.....why are you covered in raw fish and rice?' Husband: 'Oh I was running late for the 6:15 and got on a darn sush train by mistake!'

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

'The Burrito King.'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

A Club Sandwitch.

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"Charles didn't like tofu."

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

Lockdown casserole

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"What do you suggest...the tuna fish or the peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich?"

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

"I might just get a pie."

"My guess it's guacamole."

"Bottled, tap or toilet water?"

"What happened to the thin crust guy I married?"

Deliboys