Human Condition Ponderer Gifts

Desert crawler following water

The Human Condition

"Needs to get a life"

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

Waiting for Pants

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

"Get another opinion if you wish, Mr. Von Flip...But I'm confident it will still come up ' heads - we operate.'"

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

Max Weber

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

Telling Self to Buzz Off

Psychiatry ward with 'Inhibited' and 'Outgoing' trays.

'Turn your thinking cap around, Robert.'

'Well, that brings us up to my third birthday...'

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up

Caption Contest TK

Creator's Remorse

"We just made a big cancer breakthrough. Have a cigar."

'The Human Comedy needs a laugh track.'

'It's not just his insane jealousy - he also insists on choosing all my clothes.'

Pride - from The Seven Deadly Sins.

"Would you look at the carrot on that guy!"

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

"I utilize the best from Freud, the best from Jung and the best from my uncle Marty, a very smart fellow."

'I'm too small for my age: I keep being rejected...'

The Collective Unconscious

"If I can control everyone around me it would help my damaged self esteem."

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

'Don't you find watching people relaxing?'

"Could I be PATHOLOGICALLY normal?"