Humanity Ponderer Gifts

Creator's Remorse

"Artificial intelligence has just identified humanity's main problem. It's human."

Personnel. How are your people skills?

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

In/Out/These Things Happen.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

'But what is the universe for?'

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"Have you been playing dice?"

Chiller Theatre

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

God Sneezes Out Creation

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

"Needs to get a life"

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

Science Museum. Why are you skeptical about the things scientists say? Because they claim the universe is expanding but when I visited my childhood hometown, everything was smaller.

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

Sauce for the Goose

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

The Origins of Everything

"I'm learning to live with existence."

I don't think I'm letting sunlight in when I open the curtains. I think the darkness is going out.

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

Ten Commandments