Humanity Ponderer Gifts

Creator's Remorse

"Artificial intelligence has just identified humanity's main problem. It's human."

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

In/Out/These Things Happen.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

'But what is the universe for?'

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"Have you been playing dice?"

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

God Sneezes Out Creation

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

Chiller Theatre

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

Sauce for the Goose

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"Needs to get a life"

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

"I'm learning to live with existence."

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

The Origins of Everything

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

Ten Commandments

'Look at it another way. Happiness can't buy you money!'

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

"Is this who I am?"