Housewares Pillows

"I only told him I needed bedding."

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

"Careful. That house has a taser."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

Showing off the good china 3-7 pm.

'Yes, it's just a little volume.'

'Okay, kids...time for your bath.'

'Oh I don't mind you turning over my cups to look at the mark. But next time, please finish your tea.'

"We'll have to eat out tonight - I misplaced the can opener."

"Chef, we've run out of terracotta roof tiles!"

"It's all about compromise. He's not dishwasher safe and I'm not microwave safe, but we make it work."

'It's hard to slice a potato once you've looked it in the eye.'

Origin of the 'spork'

'Ignore him, he's just angry because you're eating out of his bowl.'

Flatware Follies.

"You were warned about inter-utensil relationships."

JERRY SPRINGER'S GUESTS TODAY

"So much to do... so little time."

"Don't you ever miss the hustle and bustle of the old tar pits?"

'I'll swap you my Wimbledon freebies for your Anodised pan set!'

Pop-up toaster.

Teapot

A watched kettle never boils.

Ants take cheese and grater

Bananas eye the blender

Baldo suggests getting a frying pan for his tia and she hits him in the head with it.

"Profiling!"

What salt shakers find amusing