Tableware Pillows

"I thought we'd decided on the gold leaf pattern."

We need tableware as wedding gifts. As a bachelor eating from a box, bag or can, Phil never acquired plates.

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"Got any bathtub gin?"

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

Showing off the good china 3-7 pm.

'Yes, it's just a little volume.'

"Just what is a runcible spoon?"

'Okay, kids...time for your bath.'

'Oh I don't mind you turning over my cups to look at the mark. But next time, please finish your tea.'

Tupperware Wolf

"So unfortunately, I have to make some more cuts."

"Chef, we've run out of terracotta roof tiles!"

'It's hard to slice a potato once you've looked it in the eye.'

"It's all about compromise. He's not dishwasher safe and I'm not microwave safe, but we make it work."

A Fork-lift.

Jar Wars: 'Use the forks Luke... Use the forks!'

'Ignore him, he's just angry because you're eating out of his bowl.'

'I can't party like I used to. I've got enough Tupperware.'

'No fair, man. How come you get a dessert fork?'

Flatware Follies.

'I'll swap you my Wimbledon freebies for your Anodised pan set!'

"You were warned about inter-utensil relationships."

JERRY SPRINGER'S GUESTS TODAY

"So much to do... so little time."

"He's just p****d off, because these days, I'm more popular than he is."

Anarchist Cutlery: Soup Knife/ Bread Fork, Steak Spoon.

"Out bending spoons at Pop's diner."

"Don't you ever miss the hustle and bustle of the old tar pits?"

Pop-up toaster.

Baldo suggests getting a frying pan for his tia and she hits him in the head with it.