Glassware Pillows

'Not THAT glass, you idiot.'

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

Bottle Bank: For the Colour Blind.

Tommy Cooper at the bottle bank - Glass, Bottle, Bottle, Glass..

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

It's our new twin-handle beer mug. It's for manly, two-fisted drinkers, as well as weaklings like you who can't lift it with one hand.

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"Got any bathtub gin?"

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

Glass and Porcelain Store: Elephants must remain outside.

Showing off the good china 3-7 pm.

'Yes, it's just a little volume.'

'It's hard to slice a potato once you've looked it in the eye.'

'Just one more and this puppy is headed for another bar.'

Antique silver

"I know the schools are great, but is this really the house we want to ride out the apocalypse in?"

Wine-tasting Tour.

Flatware Follies.

'Too acidic? On the contrary, I find it well balanced.'

"You were warned about inter-utensil relationships."

"Don't you ever miss the hustle and bustle of the old tar pits?"

'I'll swap you my Wimbledon freebies for your Anodised pan set!'

"Out bending spoons at Pop's diner."

Who wants to lick the swatters.

"So much to do... so little time."

JERRY SPRINGER'S GUESTS TODAY

Man blowing glass. His dentures have fallen out and are in the glass bubble.

"I heard they make glass from sand but I have no idea where to begin."

Pop-up toaster.

'I'm from the odd shaped glass supply company.'

"Wine is good for you in moderation, so I named my goblet 'Moderation.'"

A watched kettle never boils.

Baldo suggests getting a frying pan for his tia and she hits him in the head with it.