Hosting A Conference Gifts

"This kind flies around. Or do you want to rent a monotone speaker for your conference?"

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

Inclusive speech

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

The interested bystanders.

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

A business that thinks alike...sinks alike.

"I love these off-site business meetings."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

"They make an awfully big thing of cookouts."

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

I've been looking forward to this the whole year: It can get lonely out there...

I work for a not for profit business. Mind you, two years ago it was a 'for profit' business.

Conference Pears

World Food Summit - No food and drink allowed in the auditorium.

Wearing a sales chart as a name badge.

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

'Time management seminar. Start: five-ish.'

'Thanks for flying in for the meeting.'

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

'And in conclusion.'

Business coach hiding in speach desk.

'Yeah, you have lips like Mick Jagger ... ok, back to the teleconference.'

'I'll try to keep my remarks brief.'

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

Is that one of those wafer thin computers?

'Let me present today's speaker.'

Climate Conference. I'm glad you enjoyed my speech, but please don't call it the "high-water mark."