Conferences Gifts

Communication Breakdowns

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

Bus driver going to Leadership Conference regarding people fighting: 'Hold it! You can't all have the front seat!'

'No, you haven't missed much. Pretty well everyone called in sick.'

Chaos Theory Conference.

'And in conclusion.'

'I really thought name-tags would help in telling us apart...'

'Will whoever has the doorbell ringtone please set your phone to vibrate?'

'He has a very open mind. Everything goes in one ear and out the other.'

"I think you should all consider yourself very fortunate to be here considering how few seats there are for this event."

Dr. Simon had a hard time delivering his speech, what with the constant murmur in the room

"Imagine the treat as if you already have it."

"Personally, I wanted to hear your lecture on 'Prioritizing Business Needs', but everyone else went for the pizza in 3A."

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

"We must stay focused on the problems of today so we can formulate the excuses for tomorrow."

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

"Any word back from the TED conference?"

'The cannon will go off every 20 minutes just to make sure you're paying attention,'

'Medical Seminar, Ms. Sims.'

"We were out-gunned from the get-go. We're fidget spinners and they're Rubik's Cube."

Conference Pears

"The annual conference was running smoothly until Rusty, from a rival company, sneaked in and threw a stick."

'Another advantage is everyone will have better tans.'

'No, no, no, I give the keynote!'

'... And now I shall pass you over to tonight's speaker who will give a brief summary of my introduction.'

'The talks were great, but the changeovers between speakers were way too slow...'

'I asked her for phone number, so she gives me an estimate.'

Motivational Business Course: Charm, Repetition, Acronyms, Pie Charts.

'My wife misread the invite and packed the wrong suit.'

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

"I'd like to introduce our guest speaker, here to speak about the phenomenon of deja vu."

He began with an anecdote, spoke off the cuff, digressed from an aside, and flew off on a tangent.

'It was nice suing...er, seeing you again, Harvey.'

The interested bystanders.

'Get ready for Hank's guaranteed applause line - 'in conclusion'.'