Hosting An Event Gifts

'Thanks for having us and I'm really sorry about the cheeseball. Honestly, I didn't realise I was meant to share it.'

Tartine

Come dine with me!

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Face painting.

Wine Lady

Dinner at the Trapdoors

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

Create some buzz!

Martha Stewart Takes Over The Universe

Wedding Day Itinerary.

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

Carmel Buildings, Portman Square: A temperance meeting.

Join me in a Martini?

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

Canape?

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

The devil you know and his plus one

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

Face painting by numbers.

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

"I specialise in themed dinners 'Titanic', 'Armageddon' , 'Towering Inferno'..."

Party time.

'Sorry, miss. It seems to be stuck!'

Trade Show Sherpas

Wedding disaster #27.

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

Horn of Leftovers

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'