Hosting Gatherings Gifts

"They make an awfully big thing of cookouts."

"When we grow up we can eat snacks BEFORE dinner and call them hors d'oeuvres!"

"Thanks for inviting us over to try out your new hot tub!"

A crowd of happy pet owners.

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

Wine Lady

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

Join me in a Martini?

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

The prying mantis,

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

The devil you know and his plus one

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

Party time.

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

"You two seem oddly suited."

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

'Ron's not drunk - he's pouting because we won't play Pictionary.'

Miniature Cattle Fanciers

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

I've been looking forward to this the whole year: It can get lonely out there...

"This chicken wasn't cooked - it committed suttee!"

Zoom Christmas

"Phil's an expert networker. One drink and he's on schmooze-control."

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

You'll be the centre of attention for a job well done!

Barbecue

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

"You're doing fine - don't watch your feet."