Community Gatherings Gifts

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

'Howdy, Millie, how's your incontinence?'

"You know, Mark, your tabouli salad makes us look bad."

'I think I see why attendance has been down.'

Midwest Winter Items.

"There, there, Dear. Brother Amos momentarily slipped back into his secular life when he said your cake is 'sinfully good'."

Suburban street.

'We finally nailed down where our congregation's priorities lie!'

"And now... take the floor for the self-identifying progressive barn dance."

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

"What's it gonna take for all of us to eat together like a family?"

"In my experience the Baptist have the best potlucks."

A crowd of happy pet owners.

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

The prying mantis,

"This town ain't big enough for the proposed outlet shopping mall at Millet Creek Pass."

The devil you know and his plus one

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

AA Meeting Here Today

See you at the farmers market!

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

Miniature Cattle Fanciers

"You two seem oddly suited."

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

Church Basement Foodie

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

I've been looking forward to this the whole year: It can get lonely out there...

"First time visitors should always check the seating chart before entering the sanctuary."