Community Celebrations Gifts

"The fireworks money should be spent on something the community wants."

A crowd of happy pet owners.

Lesbian civil partnership.

Mardi Gras

"He's taken buzzed to a whole new level."

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

'Oh my God. I love it!'

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

Bacchus.

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

Dancing Doctor

"Happy St Patrick’s Day"

Cardiac Recovery.

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

Bubbly

"Hic. Gosh and begorrah!" "Wha?"

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

Elfie Stick

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

Wedding Day Itinerary.

Dick was the kind of guy who wanted everyone to know it was his birthday.

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

"Fred's had too much to drink - now he's hitting on that old coat rack."

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

AA Meeting Here Today

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."