Community Event Gifts

'So you're the originator of the neighborhood crime watch.'

Two stalls at the village fete: Kisses £5.00 and Latest gossip £2.50

A crowd of happy pet owners.

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

Carmel Buildings, Portman Square: A temperance meeting.

AA Meeting Here Today

"This town ain't big enough for the proposed outlet shopping mall at Millet Creek Pass."

See you at the farmers market!

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"Whose idea was it to start with the Hallelujah chorus?"

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

Children's Party

Church Basement Foodie

Chritmas Party - "What in our own time?"

Arizona In Black

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

"Whine and cheezed party."

"First time visitors should always check the seating chart before entering the sanctuary."

Glyndebourne

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

"I read 'Art News.'"

"You do have your own way of enjoying the garden, don't you?"

Now I'll open up the floor to questions and batsh*t crazy rants.

"We're going to build in Rhinebeck, once Steven finds the right brick."

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

Midwest Winter Items.

"I've never seen Tia Carmen so excited about a grand opening."

'Details of the summer fete can be found on our website. The address is on the notice board at the back of the church.'

'... So I said to Dave; 'You're not going to wear that baggy old thing are you?' But, he decided to come nude anyway.'

"1972: Kim and Doug invited us to their key party... Sounds groovy! 2017: We just got an evite from Kim and Doug to join them on an ayahuasca retreat in Peru... Tommy starts hockey and my father is about to die—no way."

Caricatures of Political Figures Exhibited at the Opera Ball

Maypole

'They're just a few bored students with some vague ideology. They'll be gone and forgotten in no time.'