Festivities Gifts

Christmas Puppy Bow

"If they fit, we can return them."

"Rabbi Mandelbaum?"

Valentines Balloons

'It looks like Reindeer!!'

"What a Christmas! First the North Pole melts, then all the elves get laid off."

"Before you go inside, give me a chance to explain the mess ..."

'New health and safety regulations.'

'He's hurt his back.'

'I understand that you only use your vehicle once a year, Mr. Claus, but you drive over a million miles that night. That's why your premium is so high.'

"It's Lyme disease again."

Free Gift Unwrapping Service

'After that 24 hour beer and fruit cake binge, you need a radical detox!'

"No, you definitely wouldn't get Christmas Eve off."

'Sometimes Rudolph, I can't help but feel Christmas is getting too complicated!'

Santa Claus in driverless sleigh

Santa-Can at the North Pole.

"I'm trying to gain 10 pounds before midnight so I can keep my resolution to lose 10 pounds next year."

"That was fun. Let's do it all again in three weeks."

"You must contact everyone who's ever been on your naughty/nice list."

Merry Old Santa Claus

'Yeah, me, too — I gained it all back over the holidays.'

"It's all part of the new normal."

"Happy Christmas and a prospersous New Year!"

"All done with that holiday spirit for another year, are we dear?"

'The good news is, I got your Mum's cardigan.'

"I've gained ten pounds!" "Isn't that what the turkey weighed?"

'Awesome mummy costume!' 'I'm a pirate! Some kids just TPed me...'

Santa Claus standing and posing with a group of misfit reindeer.

Santa twiddles his thumbs as he waits for Christmas.

"Oh, we're just here for the party."

'C'mon in Rudolph, these ain't no reindeer games.'

'According to this, they're suing you for illegal entry and the theft of one mince pie and a glass of sherry.'

'What's the torch doing in the Christmas cake.'

'I've made up my Christmas list, too. . . 1) For someone to clean up his room. 2) Hang up his clothes. . .'