Festivity Gifts

"I told you we didn't need a tree."

Under New Management.

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

'What else could I have done? My red nose is not that bright anymore.'

Christmas Hugs

How it began: Mr. & Mrs. Clause

"We decided to tone it down a bit this year!"

"Dear kids, Santa's numbers came up on the lottery so don't be expecting me dropping down your chimney this Christmas."

Three kings riding a red nosed reindeer

"This is the time of the year when you really have to stay on your toes about being good."

"Well, if you expect me to be good, you'll have to bring me something better than the rubbish I got last year!"

Queer New Year

'Number two - can you say: 'Screw the milk and cookies...where's the VCR?' In a cheerful, jolly voice?'

I'm told Cuthbert's been building himself quite a legal team over the holiday'

'No offense, but don't you have any friends your own age?'

You Will Have a Merry Christmas. . . Resistance is Futile.

Reindeer

'We'll soon know whether or not the Easter rabbit is real.'

Have a cool yule!

Christmas Flirtation under the Mistletoe

"Home depot."

Shelf on an elf

I got nothin'

"December 25, 1776..."

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"He's taken buzzed to a whole new level."

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

Christmas Tree

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

Sana's Back with his soot eating grin.

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

Bubbly

Christmas in the Fish Bowl