Festival Celebration Gifts

"Unbelievable—Lohri's not even over and already the stores are putting out their Baisakhi stuff."

Tips for an Eco-friendly Diwali from Wild Animals

Glastonbury. After.

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

Pete Townshend Vineyards

Lesbian civil partnership.

"Guess who brought king cake!"

Mardi Gras

'Oh my God. I love it!'

Cimafunk

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"He's taken buzzed to a whole new level."

Face painting.

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

Southwark Fair.

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

Bacchus.

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

High security Santa's grotto

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

"Ours is not a creative clan."

"Happy St Patrick’s Day"

Happy Easter

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

"Hic. Gosh and begorrah!" "Wha?"

"I'm sorry, but my costs were way out of control."