Festive Occasions Gifts

So glad you could make it!

Trilby - 'Allons, glycere! rougis mon verre...'

Vampire Cocktail.

Although not having a bad hare day, Paul and Toni were certainly having an unusual hare day that Easter.

Wishing You A Big Bunny Hug

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"He's taken buzzed to a whole new level."

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

Christmas Tree

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

Elfie Stick

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

"Home depot."

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

Dick was the kind of guy who wanted everyone to know it was his birthday.

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

Dancing in pyjamas

'Awesome mummy costume!' 'I'm a pirate! Some kids just TPed me...'

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"