Public Gatherings Gifts

Seating arrangements.

Privacy Forum

A crowd of happy pet owners.

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

The prying mantis,

The devil you know and his plus one

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

Miniature Cattle Fanciers

"You two seem oddly suited."

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

"This chicken wasn't cooked - it committed suttee!"

I've been looking forward to this the whole year: It can get lonely out there...

"Phil's an expert networker. One drink and he's on schmooze-control."

You'll be the centre of attention for a job well done!

Glyndebourne

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

'I don't think we're devoted to the Lord. I think we're devoted to dessert.'

Midwest Winter Items.

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

Playing cards.

When I said, "Let the good times roll," I didn't mean to let go of the keg.

"You're doing fine - don't watch your feet."

"Once you get over the three hundred and sixty eight texts it took to plan this, it really is nice to get together."

'I'm sorry, he likes to let off wind after dinner.'

"How much longer, roughly, will you be introducing me as a 'disgruntled Republican'?"

'I'm calling this a plate and I already have service for six. Six more and I can invent the dinner party.'

"I rushed here from surgery. I didn't have time to get into costume."