Outdoor Gatherings Gifts

"A mighty fine cabernet, Zeke!"

You'll be the centre of attention for a job well done!

Early Drive-Ins

Brad! Who's that singer I cry to when I'm drunk?

"I heard you had a little problem with the law."

Summer Fling

I have the booze. Carl has the snacks... Oh, and here comes Kevin with the game.

"It's just nice to get to see some familiar faces."

'We've been tailgating so long, I think we might be homeless.'

"This chicken wasn't cooked - it committed suttee!"

Barbecue Dreams.

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

Beach Barbecue

"I've just barbecued my head again."

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

The prying mantis,

The devil you know and his plus one

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"You two seem oddly suited."

Miniature Cattle Fanciers

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

"They make an awfully big thing of cookouts."

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

I've been looking forward to this the whole year: It can get lonely out there...