Social Gathering Gifts

"Just don't be yourself."

'Holland House- A Garden Party'

"Oh, Lord! Not another wine-and-cheese party!"

"I come from haunts of coot and hern!"

Glyndebourne

"All you had to do was ASK us to leave!"

Yakademic: An academic who has been describing their research since they were asked about it over 20 minutes ago.

'I don't think they are playing with a full deck.'

"Remember, no discussing politics, religion, or bonuses."

'Everyone wants Perrier with a twist of lime.'

Up-beat conversation; down-beat conversation.

'Everyone called and canceled for tonight's dinner party? Awesome!'

Visiting 'friends'.

'You two will have lots in common - you share the same anxiety neurosis.'

"Now I remember why we don't visit the Ferguson's more often!"

"Winning isn't everything - it's the only thing!"

"You unfriended them all - remember?"

'You haven't touched the cheese yet.'

"What do you mean, I hardly moved all night? I was constantly dancing around politics, religion and the weather."

"Roger doesn't use the left side of his brain or the right side. He just uses the middle."

The Life of the Party

"I never know what to do with my hands at a party"

"Do we kiss these people?"

"I'll tell you what ... you mingle, I'm going to monopolize a conversation."

"Would you mind a visitor? That frown intrigues me."

A man and a woman at a house party

"No politics or religion. This party’s MYOB — Mind Your Own Business."

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

The prying mantis,

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

The devil you know and his plus one

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"