Hospitality Host Pillows

Shall I be mother?

Cardiac Recovery.

'Okay, you can sleep in the den, but keep the roaring down.'

'I sent out for everything.'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

Ice Cream Surgeon

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

The born comedian - 'I'm only two days old and already I'm using great one liners!'

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

'It's no problem, Mom. Samantha just likes to check on my table manners.'

As a rule, all surprise parties start out with good intentions.

"Are you sure you want to see the kitchen? The chef is naked."

Excuse me.. Are you Dog Friendly?

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

"Valet park only"

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

'I told you not to complain about the hospital food!'

Opening the Barrel

'Couldn't you think of anything to say to Herb and Mary? They were nice enough to invite us over.'

"Tracy Island offers palatial splendour in the safest of environments. Your beds are unmade because this is Tracy Emin Island."

With Compliments

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

'It feels warm enough to me.'

"I’ll have something for you as soon as Table Seven sees the entrée prices."

Complementary Beverages