Hospitality Star Pillows

'Hey, a pot...ted plant. Bless you, my man.'

'I sent out for everything.'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

Ice Cream Surgeon

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

The born comedian - 'I'm only two days old and already I'm using great one liners!'

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

Cardiac Recovery.

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

'It's no problem, Mom. Samantha just likes to check on my table manners.'

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

As a rule, all surprise parties start out with good intentions.

"Valet park only"

'Couldn't you think of anything to say to Herb and Mary? They were nice enough to invite us over.'

Opening the Barrel

Excuse me.. Are you Dog Friendly?

"Tracy Island offers palatial splendour in the safest of environments. Your beds are unmade because this is Tracy Emin Island."

"Are you sure you want to see the kitchen? The chef is naked."

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

'I told you not to complain about the hospital food!'

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

"I’ll have something for you as soon as Table Seven sees the entrée prices."

With Compliments

Complementary Beverages

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

'It feels warm enough to me.'

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"Perhaps Monsieur would care for something more expensive?"

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

Bed and Breakfast