Hospitality Hero Pillows

'The Doctor says you can be discharged - so I've brought you a list of jobs you can do when you get home!'

happy bellboy carrying suitcases

'But this can't be what I ordered ... I know I ordered somethng I like.'

Buh-Bye!

'I apologize for repeatedly asking if everything is okay, but displaying customer concern is part of our mission statement.'

'I think they want to close up...'

SORRY. FULL HOUSE.: 'You don't look very damn sorry!'

The born comedian - 'I'm only two days old and already I'm using great one liners!'

"Very funny, doc, but don't you think I should have some medicine?"

"Well, here we are. If you need anything, just ring."

How to become the perfect waiter. Lesson 83.

'The chef wants to know if you mind having the dessert tomorrow...'

'Do you think we can afford better toilets?'...

End Tipping Now!: 'I can't find a hotel that will host our convention!

"You see, you've got to keep them on their toes."

Fast Food Restaurant

"Birds' nest soup! Is that all you've got?"

"I think the air mattress is telling us that he overstayed his welcome."

"Did I hit a sore spot?"

Janitor mops the floor.

"No kidding. Tell me about it."

The Waiter

I don't think your heart's in the hospitality game.

"That's the Press Corps Hospitality Tent. We had better get tooled up and make a start."

"Would you like free or expensive water?"

"You haven't invited your boozy friends back I hope."

Charles Forte

'Ordinarily, that wouldn't bother me, except Doc did the same blindfold trick last week, when he did my colonoscopy.'

"He's comfortable."

'Restaurant' in bad need of staff

"For heaven's sakes, pull up the red carpet!"

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

"After 30 years on the police force, Beth and I decided to open this B&B. You want to keep your hands where I can see them and empty your pockets?"

"You never used to have to ask for a glass."

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."