Hospitality Hosts Pillows

'I know more people are having to holiday at home...but do they all have to come to ours.'

'I sent out for everything.'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

Ice Cream Surgeon

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

The born comedian - 'I'm only two days old and already I'm using great one liners!'

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

Cardiac Recovery.

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

'It's no problem, Mom. Samantha just likes to check on my table manners.'

As a rule, all surprise parties start out with good intentions.

'I told you not to complain about the hospital food!'

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

"Are you sure you want to see the kitchen? The chef is naked."

'Couldn't you think of anything to say to Herb and Mary? They were nice enough to invite us over.'

"Valet park only"

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

Opening the Barrel

Excuse me.. Are you Dog Friendly?

"Tracy Island offers palatial splendour in the safest of environments. Your beds are unmade because this is Tracy Emin Island."

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

With Compliments

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

'It feels warm enough to me.'

Complementary Beverages

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

A sick sandwich is in the hospital and is getting a transfusion on new Maya and Zesty Mustard.

Bed and Breakfast