Hospitality Host Gifts

Shall I be mother?

Cardiac Recovery.

'Okay, you can sleep in the den, but keep the roaring down.'

'I sent out for everything.'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

Ice Cream Surgeon

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

The born comedian - 'I'm only two days old and already I'm using great one liners!'

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

'It's no problem, Mom. Samantha just likes to check on my table manners.'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

As a rule, all surprise parties start out with good intentions.

'I told you not to complain about the hospital food!'

"Valet park only"

"Are you sure you want to see the kitchen? The chef is naked."

Excuse me.. Are you Dog Friendly?

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

Opening the Barrel

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

'Couldn't you think of anything to say to Herb and Mary? They were nice enough to invite us over.'

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

Complementary Beverages

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

'It feels warm enough to me.'

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

"I’ll have something for you as soon as Table Seven sees the entrée prices."

With Compliments

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."