Hospital Scenarios Gifts

'I don't think I could ever get that hungry.'

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

Worry tank

'But they told me to take her down to theatre...'

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

"Ugh, we get it - you're in love."

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

Being Serenading in Casualty

STRIP Hambone: Businessman in hospital with his computer

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

"Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Starmer. It's a tool!"

"Why, Mr. Larsen! We were about ready to give up on you."

'Is there a chance you will die under the anaesthetic? Well, that is the killer question.'

"Dr. Eliot, would you let the dog out?"

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

We charge $500 for every nook and $1,200 for every cranny during diagnosis.

'Last year's 'Bring your pet to work day' turned out very well.'

'And Remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"The doctor will now glance in passing at you."

"But, for ten million bucks, would you lick it?"

Celebration in operating theatre.

'You can always tell the pediatricians.'

"Congratulations, counselor - it's a baby boy, with a full set of teeth."

'It's a screaming ladies part.'

'Either I've got bad news for you or my watch has stopped...'

Admissions lady: 'I don't take care of myself like I should ... my negligence probably killed a guy once ... I'm secretly attracted to you ...'

'You're either getting smaller or they're giving you bigger pillows.'

'Your left ventricle doesn't know what your right ventricle is doing.'