Healthcare Situations Enthusiast Gifts

'Do you think my husband would have better than a 50-50 chance if you didn't wear your mask up so high?'

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

'It states in his will that if he becomes brain dead he wants to go unplugged.'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

"So you're interested in medicine, public relations, business, contract negotiations and insurance law? Which one will you study in school?"

'That's the diagnosis of my diagnostic desktop. If you want a second opinion, I'll ask my diagnostic tablet.'

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

'Another day. . . another half dozen medical breakthroughs for us to comprehend. . .'

'Your doing GREAT! Tomorrow you should be able to eat hospital food!'

What will the little one be? Epidemiologist? Virologist? PPE manufacturer?

"Sometimes it helps to turn a question around. Why not you?"

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

Get well soon!

Healthy Patients Only

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

"Hey, this anti-depressant you've come up with really works"

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

"You call all this a side effect?"

"I've decided to go a different way for our new health plan."

'Two Aspirins'...'Brain Tumor'

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

'Thanks for inviting me to dinner - it's really great!'

'There, we're up and running! Let the logging in begin. . .'

Drug vending machines at hospital.