Healthcare Situations Aficionado Gifts

'Could you come back tomorrow? - That last patient really grossed the doctor out.'

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

'It states in his will that if he becomes brain dead he wants to go unplugged.'

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

"So you're interested in medicine, public relations, business, contract negotiations and insurance law? Which one will you study in school?"

Healthy Patients Only

Get well soon!

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

"Sometimes it helps to turn a question around. Why not you?"

'Another day. . . another half dozen medical breakthroughs for us to comprehend. . .'

What will the little one be? Epidemiologist? Virologist? PPE manufacturer?

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

"Hey, this anti-depressant you've come up with really works"

"We're going to run some tests: bloodwork, a cat-scan and the S.A.T.'s."

"I've decided to go a different way for our new health plan."

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

"You call all this a side effect?"

'Two Aspirins'...'Brain Tumor'

'Have you heard about the new Medicare drug plan called plan C? Medicare gives you $30 for a bus ticket to Canada!'

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

'The Doctor says you can be discharged - so I've brought you a list of jobs you can do when you get home!'