Healthcare Situations Aficionado T-Shirts

'Could you come back tomorrow? - That last patient really grossed the doctor out.'

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

'It states in his will that if he becomes brain dead he wants to go unplugged.'

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

"So you're interested in medicine, public relations, business, contract negotiations and insurance law? Which one will you study in school?"

"Sometimes it helps to turn a question around. Why not you?"

What will the little one be? Epidemiologist? Virologist? PPE manufacturer?

Get well soon!

'Another day. . . another half dozen medical breakthroughs for us to comprehend. . .'

Healthy Patients Only

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

"Hey, this anti-depressant you've come up with really works"

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'

"You call all this a side effect?"

"I've decided to go a different way for our new health plan."

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

'Two Aspirins'...'Brain Tumor'

'Have you heard about the new Medicare drug plan called plan C? Medicare gives you $30 for a bus ticket to Canada!'

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

'The Doctor says you can be discharged - so I've brought you a list of jobs you can do when you get home!'

Eye, ear, nose, throat & real estate investment trusts.