Hospital Scene Interest Gifts

Mosquito feeding from a blood transfusion bag.

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

"Your test results are in...now the interpretations can begin."

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

'Your doing GREAT! Tomorrow you should be able to eat hospital food!'

"I told you, Doctor! There's nothing in here!"

'Is that guy back again? Hey, if you find that sponge I lost, give a shout.'

'If it don't hurt, don't mess with it!'

"I came here to be treated - not flattered!"

'I'll give it back to you in a second hon, I just want to get this broccoli out of my teeth.'

'And Remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'Well, I'll be...look at this...there's a song in his heart!'

He said he loved her for her brain but was her appendix he was always taking out.

Mort, the doctor says you can't get too riled up. It's bad for your heart. Yes, dear. You're not a young man anymore. You're not in tip-top shape. You don't eat well. You're not so muscular. I'm not a fan of your haircut. Nurse!

Celebration in operating theatre.

"We'd like to start out being very involved with you but eventually be drawn away to much more interesting cases down the hall."

'We've been told to get families more involved in patient care, he'll need a bath and lunch in about 30 minutes.'

'The good news is, we were able to save your leg'.

'You sounded better yesterday.'

'And that's the simplest way to surgically remove a 'mole' from the patient!'

'For god's sake Walters, wait until the patient is fully anesthetized before going through his wallet.'

Hospital Visit

"But the P.R. guy says he's going to be O.K."

'You were clinically dead for over a week. Gave us all quite a little scare.'

"No He didn't just fall asleep. He's COMA TOES."

"It's not for soaking your feet. . . it's a bed pan."

"despite the EKG monitor I can assure you this man is dead inside."

'Ok, Ms. Feldman, it says on your chart that you were discharged yesterday.'

'It's going to take me ten hours to read your care instructions and your insurance only covers an hour of care.'

Casualty

'So then the linebacker yells back at this guy: 'Oh yeah? Well, next play, I'm gonna cram the ball...' Wait! I got it.'

'Lunch!'

'He's always talking about all of his operations.'

Gingerbread man in Emergency room.