Hospital Settings Gifts

'Last year's 'Bring your pet to work day' turned out very well.'

"But the P.R. guy says he's going to be O.K."

'Whoa, you look so cool right now.'

I like a lot of witnesses around.

'Either I've got bad news for you or my watch has stopped...'

'What are you in for?'

Patient Entrance, Neurology Department.

A&E Department: "Take a seat!"

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

'But they told me to take her down to theatre...'

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

'This is a fine time to leave! What if the doctor delivers the baby while you're out!'

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

"Ugh, we get it - you're in love."

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

'I do need your bed, Mr. Davies, for me, I'm shattered after working twenty-six hours non stop.'

'What's holding him up?'

Saline Drip Sommelier.

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

'I know it's overdue but I've been in Intensive Care.'

"Hey, I got you a beautiful orchid to cheer you up until it turns into just a stick protruding from dirt."

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

STRIP Hambone: Businessman in hospital with his computer

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'