Medical Scenario Viewer Gifts

'Quick! Contact my doctor.'

'While you're doing his brain surgery, can you tweak things a bit so he'll stop picking his nose at the dinner table?'

'Medical science is this close to finding a cure for the common evil vapors.'

Flyingdoctor's receptionist.

Clinical Trails. . . Prevention . . . Detection. . . Diagnosis. . . Treatment.

Medicare: More is Better!

"Well, I'll be - he cut and ran."

Office of Strategic Scenarios: 'Best case...Worst case.'

'You were clinically dead for over a week. Gave us all quite a little scare.'

'Our experimental laser O.R. is in there.'

"Hello, A and E, which department do you need, stabbing, shooting or general GBH?"

"Let's go back to the scenario in which none of this is my fault."

"When he was yelling stroke, stroke, stroke...I just thought he was counting!"

"Emergoplatzkyduble." "Bori gluk!"

"Nurse! Call the doctor, I've found out what is wrong with me."

Ah ha! Surgeons remove shopping trolley from patient.

"Your tests are back. We've ruled out anything covered by your HMO."

'These tablets are magic and not habit-forming, as long as you don't miss taking one every single day...'

Death as a GP.

"So tell me doc, what's new and exciting in pharmacology these days?".

'Do you think my husband would have better than a 50-50 chance if you didn't wear your mask up so high?'

I can't handle too much change so I'm reading a four-year-old magazine while waiting for my telemedicine appointment.

Dr. Potato Head

Mosquito feeding from a blood transfusion bag.

Thin man enters 'Closed and Narrow MRI', heavy man enters 'Open and Wide MRI'

'Calvin has laryngitis, but he never complains.'

Medical Marijuana - Laughter Is The Best Medicine

Patient tangled in IV tubes.

'Mister Rumley, have YOU been taking any of Major's atropine tablets?'

'Could you come back tomorrow? - That last patient really grossed the doctor out.'

'What've you got for a headache?'

Health MOT's will attract 'worried well'

'I don't think I could ever get that hungry.'