Hospital Hoper Gifts

"Ok, let's go over this one more time, 'The Leg Bone's Connected To The. . .'"

Today's special... donuts.

'But they told me to take her down to theatre...'

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"We're here to experience pleasure."

1930's Lady.

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

'You've had enough!'

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

"Can we get some more bread sticks over here?"

"The mint on the pillow was nice, but I'd prefer a chocolate fudge brownie."

Hotel with sign 'Home sweet temporary home'

"If you are a Democrat, Mrs. Hooper-Smith does the Macarena during your pancakes."

'Gasview Hotel' - 'Dinerview Gas' - 'Motelview Diner' - 'Hiwayview Suites'

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"We're here, Harry."

"Okay, I've got lousy bedside manner, but I draw a smiley faces on all your prescriptions."

'Hello room service - can you come and tuck me in and read me a story please'

"Well, what's your recommendation?"

Disorderlies

Cast away in a life raft with Dr. Phil.

My broker went to Antigua ... I had to settle for Coney Island.

'Oh, the amenity!'

'My parents couldn't afford to send me to college, so they let me spend a night at a Ramada.'

Newspaper reads: 'Doctors not giving adequate info to patients'. Doctor asking patient, "Say eh??"

Articulated taxicab serving two hotels.

NEXT EXIT Food & Drink Cafe...Open 24 hours: 'Hey! Here's the place we saw advertised on the freeway!'

"Would you mind if I sit here and wait for you to leave?"

Excess Baggage: For many of us 'Roughing it' means staying at a hotel without room service.

'You're free to get a second opinion, but it looks like something's wrong with that green thingie by your liver.'

'Hello, front desk. This is the alien spacecraft suite. My wife and I are hearing strange noises.'

"Hmmm ... either my steak knife is broken, or you cooked the heck out of this fillet."

'A room with double beds, please.'

"No response doctor! The patient is sedated!"