Hospital Hoper Gifts

"Ok, let's go over this one more time, 'The Leg Bone's Connected To The. . .'"

Today's special... donuts.

'But they told me to take her down to theatre...'

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"We're here to experience pleasure."

1930's Lady.

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

'You've had enough!'

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

"Can we get some more bread sticks over here?"

Hotel with sign 'Home sweet temporary home'

"The mint on the pillow was nice, but I'd prefer a chocolate fudge brownie."

"If you are a Democrat, Mrs. Hooper-Smith does the Macarena during your pancakes."

'Gasview Hotel' - 'Dinerview Gas' - 'Motelview Diner' - 'Hiwayview Suites'

'Hello room service - can you come and tuck me in and read me a story please'

"Okay, I've got lousy bedside manner, but I draw a smiley faces on all your prescriptions."

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"We're here, Harry."

"Well, what's your recommendation?"

Disorderlies

My broker went to Antigua ... I had to settle for Coney Island.

'Oh, the amenity!'

Newspaper reads: 'Doctors not giving adequate info to patients'. Doctor asking patient, "Say eh??"

Articulated taxicab serving two hotels.

"No response doctor! The patient is sedated!"

'You're free to get a second opinion, but it looks like something's wrong with that green thingie by your liver.'

'Hello, front desk. This is the alien spacecraft suite. My wife and I are hearing strange noises.'

NEXT EXIT Food & Drink Cafe...Open 24 hours: 'Hey! Here's the place we saw advertised on the freeway!'

"Hmmm ... either my steak knife is broken, or you cooked the heck out of this fillet."

"Would you mind if I sit here and wait for you to leave?"

'A room with double beds, please.'

Excess Baggage: For many of us 'Roughing it' means staying at a hotel without room service.

"My name is Proust. I've forgotten my room number."