Health-conscious Hoper Gifts

'I tried to quit smoking but it didn't work. Then I tried to quit quitting, and it worked perfectly.'

'Well, well, well...'

Today's special... donuts.

Distance to avoid contagion

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

'Anything is possible in our great country, son. If an Afro-American can become president, a white man can become a pro basketball player.'

'You've had enough!'

"Can we get some more bread sticks over here?"

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

"Well, what's your recommendation?"

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

'Most, yes, but they're not all carcinogenic!'

Aiiiii! Fat! Cholesterol! Food!

"Gracie, I think you've made your point. We can't completely remove meat from this family's diet...but we will try very hard to cut back, OK?"

"Strictly organic ingredients section or Russian roulette with genetically modified foods section?"

"Sugar, trans fats, and an adorable dead baby lamb. Cash back?"

Newspaper reads: 'Doctors not giving adequate info to patients'. Doctor asking patient, "Say eh??"

"Ok, let's go over this one more time, 'The Leg Bone's Connected To The. . .'"

'It's getting harder every day to make a living at this.'

"Sunday dinner just isn't the same without growth promoters"

NEXT EXIT Food & Drink Cafe...Open 24 hours: 'Hey! Here's the place we saw advertised on the freeway!'

"Okay, who hasn’t eaten a McDonald’s burger in the past two days?"

"Don't drink and drive. Don't even putt."

"I'll get the onion soup... it's the only thing on the menu that I don't know why it's bad for me!"

'You're free to get a second opinion, but it looks like something's wrong with that green thingie by your liver.'

"Hmmm ... either my steak knife is broken, or you cooked the heck out of this fillet."

"Oh, I listen to my body at meal time, but the messages aren't clear because its mouth is full!"

QUICK OIL CHANGE & FLU SHOT

"There. Straight from the organic veggie patch. The world's most expensive carrot."

GMOs

"No response doctor! The patient is sedated!"

"Would you mind if I sit here and wait for you to leave?"

Bob's Heart Valves 'N' Stuff (store is open)