Hipster Health Enthusiast Gifts

"Actually the human body is 60% skinny latte and 40% anxiety."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

"Your contents have shifted."

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

Wifi in Hell

Studies show foods work miracles!

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

'If you want to live a long time, try not to do anything that will kill you.'

'You need to stay away from the pie in the sky.'

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

Wasting away again in Cappuccinoville.

'Your reflexes are still good!'

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

Old rocker.

'We're all out of flu vaccine - how about something for anxiety...?'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

'It's the only known prevention for swine flu...Big bad wolf serum...'

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

Corona Funeral